41-year-old Matthew Roberts was determined to learn the truth about his lineage. When Roberts finally discovered his real father's identity, he realized there was no turning back.
Long-Lost Son
No matter how bad you might think you want something, the truth isn't always easy to stomach. For years, Matthew Roberts had no idea he was adopted. From that moment onward, Roberts resolved to unearth his family tree, including the names of his biological parents—but there was a price to pay.
Curiosity Killed the Cat
Roberts could have never steeled himself for the sickening reality of his origin. "I didn't want to believe it," he told the New York Post. "I was frightened and angry. I'm a peaceful person trapped in the face of a monster."
It wasn't long until Roberts learned the true meaning of "be careful what you wish for..."
Secretly Adopted
Growing up in Rockford, Illinois, Matthew Roberts believed that he was the biological son of a Swedish mother and German father. He had no reason to assume otherwise—until the fifth grade when Roberts' sister carelessly dropped a bomb that would turn his life upside-down.
Living in the Present
Roberts' sister informed him that he had been adopted. Stunned and dismayed, Roberts confronted his parents, who confirmed that they had adopted him over a decade ago. They disclosed nothing else about his past, and Roberts had no interest in learning anything about his biological parents or contacting them. Then, twenty years later, everything changed...
The Search Begins
Roberts was 25 years old when he proposed to his girlfriend at the time, Gina, who suggested that Roberts start investigating his lineage. She wanted to discern the ethnicity of any potential children the two might have together. Roberts agreed, setting out on a four-year-long journey that would eventually lead him to the ugly truth...
Turning Point
Roberts spent the next four years in limbo. Every new lead guided him straight to a dead end. After a series of disappointing bum steers and misinformation, Roberts managed to track down the name of the woman who worked for the adoption agency at the time of his adoption.
"[She] was still working there, and she tried to warn me about my mother," Roberts said. The woman cautioned him that his biological mother suffered from mental illness.
Mother Dearest
The woman from the adoption center offered him the appropriate contact information. Although Roberts felt apprehensive, he looked forward to learning about birth mother. Roberts wondered what he might find out about himself in the process. The two began corresponding by mail. At first, she seemed normal enough...
Mental Illness
"She seemed perfectly normal to me, talking about cats and growing rhubarb in her garden, and seemed like just a hippie," Roberts said. "But then it became pretty clear at a certain point that she did have some mental problems that progressively got worse as time went on, it seemed, or at least that she was unable to hide."
Undeterred, Roberts wrote to his mother asking the only question he had left. He asked about his father.
Skeletons in the Closet
Robert's mother told him the truth in fragments. In the beginning, she revealed that he had been named Lawrence Alexander, but she could only tell him his real surname in person for security reasons. That's when the story took a dark turn.
Disturbing Past
Robert was informed, to his horror, that he was the product of sexual assault at the hands of a cult. "I was conceived [at] a drug-induced sex [party] with multiple people involved," he said. Later, his mother recanted the accusation, stating that she had "confused male aggression for male vigor, or male vigor for male aggression."
She explained that in the 1960s, she was "part of a very infamous hippie group in the '60s." That's when Robert put two and two together.
Learning the Truth
Robert's mother was from the small town of Exland, Wisconsin, which shared a post office with the neighboring town of Eau Claire. That's where she met Mary Brunner.
"Mary and my mother were friends and she introduced him to her," he said.
In the letters, Roberts was told that Mary, his mother, and a few other women accompanied Roberts' father on a cross-country trip in his Volkswagen to "gather attractive girls for their so-called family." Roberts, in total disbelief, realized that his mother was talking about the Manson family.
Under Manson's Spell
Roberts' mother and Charles Manson "hit it off right away." The group drove back to Berkeley, and Roberts' conception happened somewhere in the middle. Apparently, Manson was so fond of Roberts' mother that the other girls grew jealous, forcing Manson to buy her a bus ticket back home. At least, that's what Roberts' mother said, but Roberts believes that Manson knew she was pregnant...
Spitting Image
When Roberts first learned of his father's identity, he was stunned into silence. Roberts looked in the mirror; he realized that he and his father were practically twins.
Curiosity piqued, Roberts tried bringing up Manson with his mother, but she grew angry and shut down the conversation. That's when Robert decided that he needed more answers—and decided to contact Manson himself.
Reaching Out
Roberts wrote letters to Manson asking if he remembered Roberts' mother, as well as the circumstances of his conception. Manson wrote back instantly—less than two weeks later, Roberts received a letter from his father, and another one not long afterward. Finally, Robert would know whether or not Manson was really his paternal father.
Rescued From the Cult
Manson told Roberts that he indeed remembered Roberts' mother. "[He] told me details that he seemingly could not have known had he not at least been there at that time," Roberts said. "Details about her father—my grandfather—chasing him away, calling him 'bad biker trash outlaw bandit,' all of which was consistent with what my mother told me."
Fortunately, Roberts' mother wasn't subject to all of the "murder and mayhem" of the Manson family in its later stages. It turns out that Roberts' maternal grandfather successfully scared off Manson in the wake of her mental collapse and weakened state, saving her from what could have been a much crueler fate...
Convicted Murderer
In 1969, several members of the Manson Family brutally murdered seven individuals at his behest. Although Manson was not physically present at the murders, he was found guilty of instructing the members of his cult to carry out the gruesome acts. Manson was then convicted on seven counts of first-degree murder by a court in California.
Despite the knowledge of his father's heinous crimes, Roberts insisted on maintaining a mail correspondence with Manson. He even offered to visit him in jail...
Keeping His Distance
Roberts asked if he could visit his father in jail, but Manson cautioned him against it. He said that fellow inmates had intercepted his mail and intended to harm Roberts upon being released from jail, and if he came to the prison, he risked putting a face to the name. Roberts had to weigh whether meeting his father was worth death threats.
Accusations Fly
"So this, mind you, was Charles Manson telling me that these were bad people wishing to do me harm so I took it to heart and chose not to go visit him," Roberts said, heeding the warning. He quickly learned that it wasn't easy to claim the cult leader as his father. In fact, people were allegedly already beginning to accuse Roberts of crimes...
Suitcase Alexander
One particular letter rattled Roberts to the core: "I hope you weren’t in St. Louis recently because there was a little black girl who was cut up into pieces and put into a brown suitcase and they’re already calling you Suitcase Alexander [Roberts' mother's surname] because they want to get you accused of the crime to get you in jail."
Was maintaining a relationship with his father worth being labeled a murderer?
Complicated Relationship
While some letters from Manson felt kind and maternal, others expressed anger toward Roberts for how he handled the information that Manson was his father. Manson became seriously upset with Roberts after learning of a controversial lyric citing Roberts' conception, and again when Roberts called Manson's 26-year-old girlfriend an "opportunistic pariah."
Roberts has also faced problems with his career as a result of his newfound relationship with Manson...
Exploiting the Notoriety
Robert is a Los Angeles-based musician. It was his life's pursuit long before he realized who his father was, and Roberts has certainly enjoyed the fruits of his labor, with his music having been published in 52 different countries—but he's received criticism from those who think Roberts is using his father's infamy for fame and fortune.
Destroyed Career
"I get a lot of flack from people saying I’m trying to ride on some kind of legacy or trying to build a career," Roberts admits. "It has done nothing to advance my career; if anything it has ruined it."
Roberts is deeply unhappy with the world of chaos into which he has now been thrown...
Manson's Final Wishes
Despite any adverse effects the Manson name had on Roberts' career, he had no problem staking a claim on Manson's estate after his father passed away in prison at the age of 83. Manson's will cites Roberts as his only son. In the will, Manson left Roberts everything he owned, but it's unclear whether the will was legally binding...
Heir to the Manson Estate
Roberts submitted paperwork to be claimed as Manson's heir despite the fact that he never met his father, only communicating with him via mail and phone over the years. Roberts has even hired an attorney to gain control over Manson's funeral arrangements. Regardless, Roberts is under no illusions regarding the nature of their father-son bond...
Suing for Rights
Roberts knows they weren't particularly close. Still, he believes the is the rightful heir to Manson's estate, and he also plans to file lawsuits in his father's name. It may seem like a bold move, but Roberts thinks he should benefit from the sale of Manson's artwork, music rights, and memorabilia—and that includes music samples from big-name recording artists.
Millions of Dollars Unclaimed
"His artwork is amazing and his music speaks for itself, a couple of his songs were featured in a movie, Guns N' Roses used one of his songs on The Spaghetti Incident Album, Marilyn Manson has used his stuff," he said.
Roberts is reportedly angry that "a lot of stuff was used without permission and that's not right." He knows his father is worth millions—but what is he planning to do with the money?
The Beach Boys
Roberts is convinced that The Beach Boys, with whom Manson and cult had a strange but brief relationship, owe him at least $80 million in royalties. Manson apparently wrote a song for the band, "Never Learn Not To Love," which is worth "a lot of money." Roberts also stated that he believes his father's death only served to cement his "huge brand."
However, Manson had an unknown passion toward which Robert intends to contribute the funds.
Environmental Causes
According to Roberts, he intends to use his father's potential fortune to "further his environmental cause."
Roberts said that he wants Manson to be remembered for more than just the Manson Family Murders, even though seven innocent people, including pregnant Sharon Tate, were violently killed. He champions his father's passion for the environment. Roberts has expressed his thoughts regarding Manson's legacy...
His Father's "Legacy"
"People liked him and really believed in him and his message because of the very unique things he said," Roberts said, claiming that his father "really resonated with people" and was a strong supporter of environmentalism.
"I know my father was long into the environmental movement long before it became popular, caring for the trees, the earth, water, and animals. That's his legacy and certainly something I'd like to pursue in his honor."
Roberts also believes that people now view the cult leader through a more sympathetic lens.
He Thinks There Are Two Sides to Every Story
"My father and his story will continue to be studied for years to come," Roberts says. He even compared Manson to Mahatma Gandhi, a pacifist who led India to independence without ever resorting to violence.
Because his father never physically murdered anyone, Roberts believes that he was wrongfully crucified by the media.
Roberts' Regrets
"My father never killed anyone, it's pretty well-accepted. He's got his take, then the media's take, and I tend to believe his story."
Roberts finds his father "inspiring" due to his unwavering conviction. Now that Manson has passed away, he regrets not taking the opportunity to meet him in person...
Weak Connection
"I always wanted to have some kind of friendship with him, to build a connection, that would have been wonderful. I wish I would have done things differently so I had the opportunity to meet him," Roberts said.
Aside from their mail correspondence, he did speak to him on the phone occasionally. Some of the handwritten notes Manson sent his son were signed with a swastika, which Manson has tattooed in the middle of his forehead.
Six Feet Under
Before Manson was hospitalized, he spent his final days in a California state prison weaving scorpion and spider dolls out of the body hair of fellow inmates. Although it's unlikely that Manson had an official ceremony, Roberts was granted permission to bury his father. Manson's close friend Ben Gureki said that he should be given a plot of land and a headstone, even if people want to vandalize the site.
"I want to give him a proper headstone that memorializes him as a human being—good or bad—I don’t care," said Gurecki. Roberts agreed.