What if the people you trusted most in the world betrayed you in the most unforgivable way? On Steve Lickteig's eighteenth birthday, the truth about his family secrets came to light—and things were never the same...
Normal Childhood
Steve Lickteig grew up in a warm, loving environment. His parents, Mary Jane and Don, cared for Steve and his eight siblings. He never believed that they were capable of doing anything to hurt him.
Calm Before the Storm
Steve, his parents, and his sisters and brothers all lived on a tiny farmhouse in Emporia, Kansas. He liked to play with his siblings and watch his father do work on the farm. To Steve, his rural Midwestern life was unremarkable—but it would all come crashing down soon enough.
Staying Truthful
Steve and his family were a strictly Catholic household. They were devout in their practice and religion. Since they viewed lying as a mortal sin, Mary Jane and Don wanted to be honest with their son from the start.
He Was Adopted
Steve knew from an early age that Mary Jane and Don weren’t his biological parents. They made no effort to hide that from him, and Steve was treated like any other member of the family. Still, he couldn’t help but feel as though something was a bit off…
Why Want Another?
He tried to shake the feeling, but something nagged at him. Why would his parents want to adopt him when they already had so many children of their own? Years later, Steve couldn’t help but wonder why he didn’t suspect anything sooner.
Family Secrets
When Steve reflected on it, he realized that he should have known something was wrong. Despite this, he knew that his family loved him and cared for him. Since he was the youngest of the bunch, his siblings were extremely protective of him...
Thinking About the Future
Steve began to wonder whether he had any biological siblings of his own and whether he would ever be close with them. He got to thinking about his biological parents. Where were they? Should he try to meet them?
Searching For Answers
Steve intended to meet his biological parents face-to-face. He didn’t know when that would happen, but he imagined it to be sometime later in his adulthood. However, when Steve started asking questions about his biological family, he was met with awkward stares…
Sensitive Topic
He figured that adoption might just be a tricky subject to discuss with people, but Steve had no idea how difficult the conversation would end up being. For years, it wasn’t only his family who had hidden a dark secret about Steve’s past. It was their whole town.
Graduation Night
When Steve turned eighteen, he figured that there were going to be some major changes in his future. He was about to graduate from high school and move on toward bigger, better things—or so he thought. For Steve, life was about to turn upside-down…
The Night Before
It was the evening before the graduation ceremony. Steve invited his two best friends, Alan and Vance, over to the farm to celebrate their milestone. The three had been close for years. They knew everything about him…
Coming Clean
Alan and Vance had been planning to reveal the truth about Steve’s biological family for months. They wanted Steve to know the secrets Don and Mary Jane had been keeping from him for his whole life. If they didn’t tell him now, they were worried that Steve would never find out.
Feeling Nervous
Alan and Vance arrived at Steve’s house and walked into his bedroom. They shut the door behind them. Alan shifted from foot to foot while Vance mustered up the courage to break the news. “We have something we want to tell you,” he said.
The Truth Comes Out
Steve was sitting on the bed, perplexed. Why were they acting so strangely? A few seconds passed, and then Vance blurted out, “I know who your mom is.” Steve felt his stomach sink.
Lifechanging News
Vance took a deep breath, and then he told Steve what he had known for years: that his mother was sitting in the next room over. Joanie, Steve’s oldest sister, was his biological mother.
Too Much To Process
“I think that was actually the biggest blow to me,” Steve said later. “It wasn’t some intimate, private secret, but it was this knowledge of who I was out in the open, out in the world, and I had no control over it.” Steve had no idea how to wrap his head around this information, but he had one important question for his friends...
Who Else Knows?
Steve’s friends told him everything they knew. All Steve wanted to know was how many people had been keeping this secret from him. Alan and Vance, ashamed, told Steve that they had known the truth for their whole lives, but they weren’t the only ones…
Everyone Knew
Steve’s friends, family, neighbors, teachers—everyone was aware of the fact that Joanie was Steve’s real mother. Steve had spent the past eighteen years growing up alongside people who were all in on the secret. He felt sick to his stomach.
Betrayed
Steve’s world had come crashing down around him. The woman he had known as his sister for the past eighteen years, who had sat by and remained silent when he mentioned how badly he wanted to meet his biological parents, had known the truth all along. He didn’t know how he would ever forgive Joanie, Don, or Mary Jane.
Left Alone
After it was over, Steve was totally speechless. He remembered thanking his friends, head buzzing. He could hardly recall them leaving. That night, Steve was all alone, with only his swirling thoughts for company.
Staying Silent
Steve didn’t think graduation day was the right time to address what he had just learned. He kept up with the facade as his family, including Joanie, posed for pictures next to him in his cap and gown. He spoke at his graduation as though nothing had happened.
Six Weeks Later
Steve held it together for six whole weeks, terrified to shatter the illusion of family that he had come to trust and love. The reality of his situation was eating away at him. He had a constant stomach ache that never seemed to fade. Finally, in late summer, he couldn’t bite his tongue any longer…
The Confrontation
After dinner one night, Steve decided that it was time to approach Don and Mary Jane. He still had trouble accepting that they were his grandparents, not his parents. Steve and Mary Jane sat at the table while Steve worked up the nerve to tell her that she had been found out…
Breaking the Spell
Steve told Mary Jane what Vance and Alan had revealed to him. Mary Jane stared him right in the face and said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve figured that Mary Jane would hold onto the illusion for as long as possible.
Out With It
“Well, I know everything,” Steve replied calmly. “I know what the truth is.” Still, Mary Jane wouldn’t budge. She denied the accusations again and against. Don sat in a nearby chair with his head in his hands, totally silent. Finally, he had enough.
Just Tell Him
Don grew more and more furious as Mary Jane continued to fight back against Steve. He slammed his fist down on the armchair of his La-Z-Boy. “Damn it, will you just tell him?” he shouted.
Overwhelmed with Emotion
Mary Jane couldn’t look at Steve as she spoke to him. She explained that Steve was right; they were not his biological parents. Joanie had given birth to him eighteen years ago. Steve, unable to handle the betrayal for a second time, stood up from the table and sprinted to his car.
Running Away
Steve got in the car and drove until the scenery blurred around him. He reached a motel twenty miles away and rented a room. However, he would soon learn that he wasn’t alone…
He Had Company
Joanie had followed him in her car, desperate to explain her side of the story. She arrived at the motel not long after he had checked in, and banged on the door, begging her to let him in.
Joanie’s Past
It had begun to rain outside, and Steve begrudgingly let Joanie into his room. They sat together for a few moments while Joanie tried her best to apologize. She knew that it might not matter, but she wanted to tell him what had happened to her eighteen years ago.
Starting Over
When Joanie was a teenager, she felt suffocated by her parents’ strict Catholic environment. In the middle of the night, she packed up her things and took a bus from Kansas to Los Angeles. Within a few months, she met the man that would eventually become Steve’s father.
Young and Pregnant
It wasn’t long before Joanie became pregnant out of wedlock. Scared and broke, she returned to Kansas to confess what had happened to her parents. Don and Mary Jane told their daughter that she could continue to live under their roof if she agreed to one thing…
The Secret Is Born
Joanie was only allowed to stay with them if she let Don and Mary Jane raise the baby as their own. In order to avoid bringing shame upon their family, Joanie would be forced to act as Steve’s sister for the rest of his life. Don and Mary Jane swore the rest of Steve’s siblings to secrecy.
Hearing Her Out
Joanie assured Steve that she wanted to keep him—she wanted to be his mom—but she couldn't survive without the help of Don and Mary Jane. When Joanie was done speaking, Steve didn’t say anything for a while. He believed most of what she had told him, but it was hard for him to fully accept it.
He Saw the Signs
When Steve thought about it, the clues were always there. They seemed normal at the time, but looking back, Steve realized that Joanie’s protectiveness stood out from the rest of his siblings. He knew that his relationship with his family would never be the same.
Buried Once Again
Steve was furious, sad, and betrayed. For fifteen years, they never spoke of it again. Like all things, his family swept it under the rug, and they continued to function as normally as they could. “We just didn’t talk about it,” Steve said. “And it sounds melodramatic to me, but I changed that day.”
Hard Times
Steve fell into a depression. Once a happy-go-lucky, positive guy, Steve began to isolate himself from friends and family, unable to trust anyone. “I felt they were all sort of in on it, so I just separated myself,” he said. Then, 15 years later, he learned to let someone in…
Looking Up
Finally, after 15 years of loneliness and isolation, Steve met the woman who he would later call his wife. She encouraged Steve to rebuild his relationship with his family, even if it was difficult.
Moving Forward
Although Steve and Mary Jane’s relationship had been irreparably severed, she still sent Steve’s children birthday cards in the mail. Steve knew the road to normalcy would be a bumpy one, but he was willing to try.
Growing Together
Now, Steve has a loving family of his own, and there are no secrets between them. Although his relationship with his own family has been hard for him to navigate, together, the Lickteigs are working together to repair the fabric of their lives.