You've probably poked through your local grocery store and discovered that some of your favorite things are sold out. Flour, frozen chicken nuggets, chips, toilet paper, and spray cleanser may not be available for a little while. However, when all the popular things are sold out, we get to see what society truly rejects when it comes to making hard decisions about groceries. One thing is for certain though, not even a global food shortage could convince people to eat frozen pineapple pizzas...
Baby Shark Cereal
Kellogs made a huge mistake when they decided to make this cereal. If they considered for one second that it's the parents of the children that are buying the cereal, they probably would have reconsidered. Seriously, there is no parent out there that can stand to hear "baby shark doot doot..." more than once a month, let alone hear it every morning during breakfast.
Corona Beer
Okay, this one almost goes without saying. Corona is going through one of the largest PR crises that a company has ever experienced in modern times. They need a little more help than just continued consumer interaction.
Low-End Frozen Pizza
Ignore the DiGiorno, the person who photographed this picture got really lucky one day. Instead, focus on the underdogs. Tony's, Tombstone, Elios, and even generic brand pizzas have been left behind in the mad dash to stock up. If you really need your fix, go poke around the back of the freezer section at your grocery store.
Produce
Even though there is just as much produce as there was before, nobody is buying fresh veggies. Our assumption is that it's the people that never knew how to cook in the first place dominating the grocery stores with their presence and buying pre-cooked and frozen meals. Either way, if you need discounted veggies, now is the time.
Vegan Food
As meat alternatives rise in popularity, we, unfortunately, have seen an increase in the aversion to trying them. Grocery stores seem to be having a particularly difficult time getting their backstock of vegan proteins off the shelves. Maybe it's time for some people to try some new protein sources, especially if they went on sale.
Takis
People are seriously missing the boat on these delicious Mexican treats. If you've never had a Taki, imagine a rolled Dorito but they use real ingredients. Although there's a ton of red dye, they actually use real lime juice and chili.
Manhattan Clam Chowder
Ladies and gentlemen, nobody has ever liked Manhattan clam chowder. There's something about this soup that just doesn't sit well with New Englanders. Plus, trying to live in the shadow of its big brother (New England clam chowder) as the healthier alternative for a warm bowl of comfort definitely doesn't help.
Salt-Free Potato Chips
Although you may have never seen them with your own two eyes, saltless potato chips exist. Unfortunately, someone at the potato chip factory decided to remove the good part about potato chips and sell people crispy potato paper for the same price. If you're forced to purchase a bag of salt-free chips, just heat them in a warm oven briefly and season them yourself.
Chili and Lime Tortilla Chips
Trader Joe's, as per usual, is taking a beloved snack and butchering it. Newsflash, people who shop at Trader Joe's don't usually buy Takis. Read the room.
Lima Beans
Honestly, lima beans are kinda slept on. If you've trusted your childhood tastes all the way into your adult life, trying a lima bean that was sauteed in butter might just change your opinion. Soon, you might thank us for reminding you that lima beans exist.
Peppers and Onions
We're not quite sure why people aren't buying peppers and onions. Maybe people aren't eating fajitas as frequently, or maybe people have been taking this time to work on their knife skills. Either way, these frozen veggies are pretty much just as good as the fresh ones.
"Healthy" Pizza Crusts
The fact that these monstrosities even got past the beginning stages of development is a borderline crime against humanity. If you're eating broccoli crust "pizzas," you might want to quarantine yourself for a lot longer than what the federal government wants you to. You're better off eating a fistful of tomatoes and biting a chunk out of a block of mozzarella.
Dessert Hummus
You may have noticed a decline in the stocking of dessert hummus right before the shelter in place ordinances came through. But, when people overbought hummus, dessert hummuses re-hit the shelves. A good rule of thumb for quarantine shopping is: "If it was nasty before, it'll be nasty now."
Aquafina
In the ranks of expensive water bottles, Aquafina is very close to the bottom. Just because you slap a translucent label on a bottle of tap water doesn't mean you can start selling it for a dollar more than your competitors. We're looking at you PepsiCo.
Frozen Peas
Frozen peas are some of the most underutilized ingredients in the entire grocery store. Instead of ignoring the bag of little green balls, you should be stocking up your freezer with them. Peas are delicious, nutritious, and they go great in a cottage pie.
Limes
Lemons are flying off the shelves, but limes, not so much. Since there is an abnormal number of limes on (and in) the market, they're all going on sale. Margaritas, anyone?
Arrowhead Water
Arrowhead is the one brand of bottled water than never really seemed to catch on. We have to assume that it was because Arrowhead was late to the game, compared to the Poland Springs of the world. But, like in all cases, people will eventually pick it up when there is absolutely nothing left.
Pineapple Pizza
Evidently, the fight for the inclusion of pineapple on pizza even includes a global food shortage. If you are one of those weird folks that like the forbidden topping (no judgment here), there are plenty of frozen pies left to go around. Just make sure you go grocery shopping at weird times so people don't see you buying it.
Gluten Free? Not For Me.
Nobody has been able to find any glutenous flour since the massive baking supply shortage reared its ugly head. So, if you are one of those gluten-free peeps, you should probably stock up while you can. Nobody wants gluten-free bread right now, but nobody knows what the future may hold...
Vegetable Pastas
It's weird that now people are more averse to trying veggie pasta than before. Spinach is the classic one—with its unmistakable bright green color, people actually think that these pastas look scrumptious. Veggie pasta used to be a way to get your kids to try more unique things, but we guess that's gone by the wayside recently.
Alternative Pizzas
Listen, we know we already basically covered the cruciferous-vegetable pizza crust bases, but some manufacturers think that we'll eat the crust if they put something on it for us. They are (airhorn noise) extremely wrong about that. Alternative pizzas are clogging the freezers at the stores, and if you really want to make some weird decisions with your day, take one home.
Milk Alternatives
Honestly, milk alternatives are the new wave. We're pretty happy that people are choosing to leave the alternative moo-juice alone. That means there's more for the people who use it religiously.
Asian Ingredients
You can thank the misconceptions about the coronavirus for this one. Asian ingredients (cuisines vary) host a wealth of flavor, spice, and excitement that can bump your diet out of the rut it's been in. If other people won't take these ingredients, you should.
Expensive Hand Soap
Nowadays, nobody cares if their hand soap smells like honeysuckle. The only thing that people are concerned about is keeping themselves clean, and if that's what you're focusing on, cheap soaps are the way to go. Sorry expensive soap manufacturers, your time may come again in the future.
Carrot Noodles
Carrot noodles are unconventional, kind of weird, and one of the great pasta substitutes of the future. You've heard of cauliflower rice (not that bad), so why not give carrot noodles a chance. You might surprise yourself with how good carrot noodle Cacio e Pepe is.
Deep Dish Pizza
You've got to be kidding if you think deep dish "pizza" is actually pizza. Chicago deep-dish is like a lasagna that you cook in a round pan. No self-respecting pizza consumer wants that nonsense...clearly.
Premade Chicken Burrito Bowls
Believe it or not, these items aren't flying off the shelves like all of the other chicken products. Why is that you ask? Well, dear reader, they're not very good. Of the things on this list that aren't the best but still have redeeming qualities, this isn't one of them.
Essential Oils
Essential oils have completely proven to be "non-essentials." Even the yuppies that swear that essential oils cured their anxiety, or whatever, aren't picking them up. Stick with vanilla and lemon extract, those are the only essential oils you need to think about.
Gluten-Free Fried Halibut
This one is a double whammy. Not only do people dislike frozen halibut, but the fact that this breading is gluten-free might have been the straw that broke the camel's back. To be entirely fair with you, these things aren't that bad. But if you're afraid of them, we get it.
Teas
You'd think that all the people that are staying at home would be all about drinking tea, but the statistics show otherwise. Teas have been in overstock since before quarantine began because of the change of the seasons. It seems like people are keeping that trend going.
Hot Dogs
Booooooo, we need to normalize grillin' culture to be a year-round practice. Seriously, guys, Joey Chestnut can't take home all of the hot dogs from the grocery stores. You need to do your part like the pioneers who caused this massive backlog of weiners.
Doritos Max
Nobody ever wanted buffalo ranch-flavored Doritos. Nobody asked for anything that's in the Doritos Max line. Buty still, they exist. At least you can use them as a fire starter when nothing else is left.
Corned Beef
Just because St. Patty's Day was a flop this year doesn't mean that people shouldn't be picking up their customary corned beef brisket. Although they aren't as good as their Jewish counterpart (pastrami, buddy), a good corned beef brisket will do in a pinch. Pro tip: if you soak it in fresh water, you can pull a lot of the brine out of the beef. This leaves you with tenderness, and then you can choose how you want to season it on your own.
Gnocchi
We think that people aren't buying gnocchi because they don't know what it is. However, we HOPE that people are just making gnocchi at home instead of spending six dollars on a pound of it. Seriously, you can make ten dollars worth of gnocchi for just under three dollars.
Cinnamon Raisin Bagels
On a normal day, most people talk a lot of smack on the cinnamon raisin bagel. However, doesn't a warm, buttered, cinnamon raisin bagel sound pretty good right now? What are you waiting for? Go get em' before they completely sell out.
Poor Chowder Heads
This photo was snagged from a grocery store in Boston. Seriously, guys, you might want to consider no longer selling manhattan clam chowder. We can't imagine that it was much of a moneymaker before now either.
Hot Tamales Peeps
You may not have even noticed, but Easter came and went pretty quickly this year. So, all of the experimental easter candy wasn't even purchased by daring folks looking to dazzle their families with their weird find. It's likely that you'll see these cinnamon Peeps all the way up until summer.
Peter Pan Peanut Butter
Peter pan has always been the least popular peanut butter behind Skippy and Jiff. But, we do have a little secret peanut butter hack for the low shelf options. Look out for the "whipped honey peanut butter" variety of Peter Pan. You'll thank me later.
Bulk Rice
Nobody seems to be buying the most obvious thing that you should be buying in this weird time. Buying rice in bulk is cost-efficient and it supports struggling businesses around the world. There are literally no downsides to buying bulk rice.
Pork Products
All other meats have been picked up, but pork is still getting the unfair treatment that it has always received. If you watch a documentary about the meat industry, you'll discover that pork is actually one of the healthiest meats to eat. Lobbyists are just more invested in beef and chicken than pork.
Kidney Beans
Kidney beans (more aptly named "red beans") haven't been flying off the shelves like their fellow legume brethren. We're guessing that people haven't gotten into these beans because of their name. Y'all are missing out big time. Just buy a bunch of these and make some chili. It'll be good for ya.
Cauliflower Mac and Cheese
You can have cauliflower and cheese, you can have mac and cheese, but you cannot have mac and cauliflower and cheese. Veggie based pasta alternatives are starting to catch on. But when you make a pasta-based pasta alternative out of the veggie, you lose a lot of people in the mix.
Generic Toilet Paper
Even though people are literally going to jail over toilet paper (please look it up), lots of people are still turning their noses to the store-brand stuff. Seriously, it's always one-ply or worse. You'll be better off buying a bidet.
Perogies
These Polish potato pockets have not been receiving enough love lately. Maybe it's because quarantiners still think that they need to focus on their summer bod. But, unfortunately, we're probably not going to have much of a summer, so it'll be okay to be a little pale and soft around the middle. This is for your own good.
This One's a Secret
We're focusing on Trader Joe's a lot here because they have the secret deals that nobody really talks about. Hidden in the booze section of every Trader Joe's are these magnificent cans of bubbly water. They're never sold out because people think that there's alcohol in them, and when people buying alcohol find them, they typically put them back. Go figure, but here's the next big thing.
Sugar Free Baked Beans
So, there is a learning curve for observing this picture. First, you must consider that people are concerned enough about their sugar consumption through the massive amount of beans they've been eating to warrant a product like this. Second, you need to know that a company actually went out of their way to cater to these strange complaints. This is a lose-lose situation.
Brussels Sprouts
Aren't we all a little too old to be calling brussels sprouts yucky? People are seriously missing out on the incredible experience that is eating roasted sprouts with bacon and balsamic vinegar. Please give this a try if you can find bacon anywhere around you.
Chickpea Pasta
We don't really understand this one because Banza is actually pretty good. It's low glycemic index and the texture is pretty spot on to regular pasta. You should put yourself ahead of the curve and start eating chickpea pasta.
Red Onions
For some reason, red onions never get any love. This versatile root vegetable can be eaten raw, pickled, steamed, stir-fried, and grated, but everyone wants to be a French chef so they buy the white ones. You guys are missing out.
Black Liquorice
Everyone has that weird friend who actually enjoys eating black licorice (guilty as charged). But, those friends haven't been turning out in the grocery stores lately. There's something about black licorice that doesn't sound very comforting in these times, so maybe people have been avoiding the stuff for the right reasons.
Low Fat Fries
For reference, these aren't normal fries. These are the weird oil-free potato-gluten mash that you can find in school lunches and nursing homes. We think it's best that we let sleeping fries lay.
Rolls of Biscuits
We honestly don't know why people aren't buying these. Either society has circumvented the need for tube biscuits or stores have an absurd backlog of stock for these things. Canned biscuits are really versatile, and you're making a mistake if you pass them over.
Frozen Juices
When you're poking around for healthy alternatives for household items, you should prioritize the "healthy" part. Frozen juices tend to have a ton of sugar in them, even more than the absurd amount in regular juices. Nobody is buying them, and we think that's A-Ok.
Dasani
Did you know that Dasani actually has a ton of salt in it? So no matter how much of this water you drink, you'll still be thirsty afterward? Screw you Coca-Cola, we hope nobody buys this deceptive product.
Pre-Marinated Meats
Stores probably thought that pre-marinated meats would be the next sliced bread, but they're not. Actually, most people don't buy these things because nobody trusts their grocery store's ability to properly season things. Honestly, we can't blame them for feeling that way.
Expensive Tomato Sauce
Now is not the time to be spending $15 on a quart-sized jar of tomato sauce. Do yourself a favor and just buy a can of tomatoes and make your own sauce. We 100% guarantee that you'll be able to make a better sauce on your own with few ingredients.
Pizza With Strange Toppings
There is a reason that the universally most loved flavor of pizza is cheese with basil (Margherita if you wanna get nuts with it). So why do all these manufacturers want to reinvent the formula? Pizza is good because it's pizza, you can keep your Korean barbecue pies in your test kitchen (but if you want to send us one to try and change our minds, that would be cool too).
Dryer Sheets
You'd think that right now would be the best time to start investing in dryer sheets, but people just refuse to catch on. If you've ever wanted to have good smelling, allergy-free, static-less clothing, you should invest in these bad boys. Go get you some while you have the chance.
Imposible Meat
Both Impossible and Beyond meats have been staying on the shelves throughout this entire quarantine thing. We highly recommend that you pick one of these up. They're a little more expensive than regular beef, but they're a lot healthier and they're completely animal product free.
Duck Fat
Duck Fat Dave over here is literally begging supermarket goers to buy his duck fat. Nobody is buying extravagant ingredients nowadays, so all that work that dave put into juicing those ducks went to waste. Don't feel bad for him, he should have known that his business wasn't pandemic-proof.
Sustainable Farmed Goods
People haven't been frequenting their farmer's markets, so farmers are looking to other options to distribute their goods. You can purchase Community Supported Agriculture (or CSA) boxes for pretty cheap to directly fund your local farmers. Please do this if you like having a local agriculture system.
Frozen Turkeys
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter all flew by. Usually, stores will keep a small backstock of birds for people to pick up around Easter time, but obviously that didn't happen this year. Do yourself a favor and pick up a bird, you can make stock or your own lunch meats. Honestly, the possibilities are endless.
Frozen Pasta Meals
Everybody talks all that good stuff about eating lasagna but nobody is talking now. While you sit comfotrably in your home, the lasagna in your grocery store is silently wasting away in the back of the freezer. This is all your fault.
Hard Cheeses
This one is a nother head-scratcher. You'd think that with the sheer quantity of pasta that's being consumed nowadays that people would be buying more hard cheese. We are left having to guess that Americans are eating their pasta wrong.
Scotch Broth
We have no clue what this stuff is. We also know for a fact that nobody outside of England buys this stuff. So, yeah, you're doing the right thing by ignoring these cans.