Twenty-five years ago, one woman made a decision for herself and her future that would change everything.
Single Mother
At the age of 35, Esther-Louise decided she wanted children. She was single and had recently left a relationship that had lasted for twelve years. At the time, she was frowned upon for her choice to become a mother.
Anonymous Donor
Esther-Louise went forward with her plan: she used donor sperm and underwent an IVF treatment with one particular doctor who told her he would locate a donor whose physical features mimicked her own. Esther-Louise trusted him…but soon, she and her family-to-be would be enmeshed in a dizzying spiral of heartache and deception.
Knowledgable Doctor
Esther-Louise heard about a clinic near Rotterdam whose director sounded progressive enough to advocate for the idea of IVF. Esther-Louise went ahead and made a consultation with Dr. Jan Karbaat, who didn’t fail to impress her.
Offering Support
“The doctor seemed very good at what he did,” she said. “He was a pioneer in his attitudes. He talked me through what it would be like to raise children on my own; he seemed very serious and professional.” Not only this, but Karbaat was supportive—maybe too supportive.
Transparent About Their Roots
Karbaat promised Esther-Louise that any children she had would be able to trace their genealogy. “Back then, the accepted wisdom was that donor children didn’t need to know,” she said. Still, Esther-Louise felt it was their right to know where they came from, including their father.
Where We Come From
“Where we come from, who our parents are—these things are important in anyone’s life, and I wanted them for my children,” Esther-Louise continued. Dr. Karbaat agreed with her; he promised Esther-Louise that her children would be able to know their father if they chose so.
Trusting Him
“He assured me that would be possible. He was an important doctor in a white coat,” Esther-Louise said. “I trusted him; it never crossed my mind that I couldn’t.”
Meeting the Criteria
Dr. Karbaat asked Esther-Louise for photos of her relatives so he could find a good match. He added that he’d make sure the donor would also be open to being traced at some point in the future…
Road to Success
Esther-Louise’s relationship with her partner had lasted 12 years, and she had become pregnant twice. Both times had unfortunately ended in a stillbirth. Although that didn’t stop Esther-Louise from endeavoring to become a mother, the road ahead was a rocky one.
Healthy Babies
Esther-Louise had nine unsuccessful IVF attempts until she received a positive result. Finally, her daugher, Lotte, was born in 1994. One year later she gave birth to a baby boy named Yonathan. Throughout it all, Dr. Karbaat was by her side. He assured Esther-Louise the sperm was from the same donor…
Family Life
At first, being a single mother was difficult, but it also proved to be everything Esther-Louise was waiting for. The family moved around to various places in the Netherlands before settling down on the southernmost tip of the country. Esther-Louise was committed to being as open as possible about their roots.
Honesty is the Best Policy
“I told them: ‘A man gave his seed and that’s how you were born: if you want to know who he is you will get the chance to do that one day,'” she said. Despite her honesty, their village didn’t quite understand the situation…
Excuses
Although many children had separated parents, people still prodded them with questions. Lotte was able to handle it, but Yonathan struggled to explain the situation. He made up a story about a ship captain called Peter from Rottendam who was never around.
One for Two
By the time Lotte turned 16, she had expressed no desire to contact their biological father, and Esther-Louise didn’t want to push her. Yonathan, however, felt differently about finding the man who was in part responsible for his existence.
Desperate for Connection
Yonathan longed for a father figure in his lie. “I wanted to know who he was: there were things I wanted to ask him. And I wanted to find out whether certain ways I behaved were connected with him—things that made me seem different from my mother and my sister.”
The Search Begins
In 2011, Yonathan and Esther-Louise approached the organization that was supposed to help lead them to Yonathan’s biological father. However, they soon heard some worrying news…
Disheartening Information
The files at Dr. Karbaat’s clinic were in total disarray. Their records hadn’t been properly stored, meaning it would be nearly impossible to find out the identity of the donor.
They Kept Going
Yonathan and his mother persisted. They continued to make phone calls, fill in forms, and demand information on who Yonathan’s father might be. At the same time, rumors surrounding the authenticity of Dr. Karbaat’s clinic were beginning to circulate…
Rumor Mill
“Rumors were rife,” said Yonathan. People were saying that the sperm donors had been fellow doctors and medical students, but the perhaps the most disturbing suspicions of all came to light: was Jan Karbaat the prodigal sperm donor?
Sinister Possibility
Yonathan and his family were in in total shock. Dr. Karbaat using his own sperm to impregnate patients without their consent was not only illegal, but supremely unethical. It was difficult to process the implications of what this could mean for not only Yonathan and Lotte, but Esther-Louise as well…
Coming to Terms
In the years prior, Yonathan had sent letters to Karbaat asking for information about his father, which were always returned unopened. “I thought, is that how little he cares? He seemed so cold, so arrogant,” said Yonathan. “And this man could be my father—it was all very hard to come to terms with.” Then, Yonathan saw a television documentary that changed his life forever…
The Documentary
The documentary was centered around the controversy of the Rotterdam clinic. It raised a bone-chilling possibility: as many as 200 children could have been fathered by the same sperm donor. Soon, the family was thrown in the middle of a tumultuous scandal.
Potential Siblings
“Yonathan was watching the television, saying: ‘These could be our brothers and sisters,'” said Heij. “A lot of them were very intelligent, just like him; and we were looking at them thinking: ‘Do they look like Yonathan and Lotte?'” Eventually, the children submitted DNA samples to find out the truth.
Looking for Answers
The siblings waited anxiously to hear the news regarding whether they were related to any other children conceived at the clinic who were also seeking answers…
It Wasn’t Over
While some groups of individuals were found to be related to one another, there seemed to be no matches for Yonathan and Lotte. Yonathan couldn’t help but feel disappointed: “I hoped I would find at least some siblings. But I still wanted to know who my father was.” The rumor mill continued to churn…
He Needed to Know
Some people told Yonathan that if Dr. Karbaat was really his father, he might be better off not knowing. But Yonathan didn’t care—he had embarked this far on the journey and he wasn’t about to turn back now.
More Than What Meets The Eye
“However bad he was, he must have had some good qualities. It was like part of my identity was missing.” Yonathan knew he needed to find out the truth about his father.
Legal Action
A group of families whose children were conceived via IVF at Dr. Karbaat’s clinic initiated legal proceedings to allow them to do DNA tests using Karbaat’s cells. At first, Karbaat opposed…
Waiting Game
However, Karbaat’s resistance soon became less of an obstacle. He died at the age of 89 in 2017, and police seized personal items from his home, including a toothbrush which contained his DNA. While Yonathan waited to hear whether the tests would be approved, he made some unlikely decisions.
Sperm Donor
Yonathan decided to become a sperm donor himself. “I know that any children born as a result will be able to find me in the future,” he said. “And I feel I will be able to help them, I will understand their situation in a way some donors can’t, because I’ve been through everything they’re going through. I will be able to relate.” Meanwhile, Dutch court came to verdict on the case…
DNA Testing Approved
The court ruled that DNA tests could be carried out on Dr. Karbaat. Karbaat’s clinic had closed eight years prior to his death after numerous complaints, administrative irregularities, and inspections by public health authorities. Yonathan and Lotte soon learned the truth behind their father: he was, indeed, Dr. Jan Karbaat.
The Reality
In total, Karbaat had fathered 49 children. Although Dr. Karbaat can no longer inflict harm upon anyone, the people his actions affected were deserving of answers—even if they were the ones they dreaded the most.