For some people, there is no adrenaline rush like canceling plans. Michael Buchinger was one of those people—until he no longer had a choice in the matter.
Never Down For Anything
Michael Buchinger loved saying no. When a friend asked him if he was interested in attending a spontaneous board game night, he instantly denied her. Michael was known among his friends to be quite the Debbie Downer.
Things Were About to Change
His constant negativity was beginning to rub her the wrong way. It reached the point where she felt she had to say something about it. Michael could never have known this single interaction would set off a chain of events that would come close to ruining his life…
Give It A Chance
She told Michael the truth: he desperately needed an attitude check. “Give it a chance,” she said to him, fuming. Finally, Michael began to realize that his friend might be right.
Just Along For the Ride
He’d been coasting through life under the guise that it was easier to just stay inside. Maybe it was time for the young writer to give positivity a chance. But soon, Michael would realize the gravity of his mistake…
Shaking Things Up
Even though Michael didn’t exactly think highly of people who thought a round of board games was the epitome of shaking things up, the confrontation made him think that it was time to refresh his outlook on life—and that’s just what he did.
Ready to Live Life
For one week, Michael decided that he would be open to trying new things. Michael was going to say “yes” to everything he was asked for seven full days. Little did he know, things would soon go south…
Yes Man
The following day, Michael’s journey began. He immediately found it difficult saying “yes” to things he knew he wouldn’t enjoy. At first, Michael didn’t even want to leave his apartment, but he had made a pact with himself and was committed to honoring it. Michael turned to Facebook for inspiration.
Starting from the Bottom
After scrolling through a few clickbait articles—yes, he would like to know the worst celebrity fashion choices of the mid-2000s—Michael came to terms with his desire to cop out of the project. Luckily, a friend then invited him to dinner…
The Wrong Choice
Ordinarily, Michael would have declined the invitation, but he ended up agreeing. He soon understood that he had made a grave error of judgment.
Yes to Everything
Every time the waiter asked him a question, Michael had to say “yes,” no matter what it was. Another glass of wine? Yes. A hot coffee? Yes. Any dessert? Yes. Michael’s friends even commented on how much money he was spending that night, but Michael shook off their concerns…for now.
Hefty Price to Pay
When the bill came, Michael realized he had spent over $200 on a single meal. He felt dread wash over him as he handed over his card, but Michael was determined to keep going. He wanted to put even more effort into trying new experiences…
A Strange Proposal
When Michael arrived home that night, he received an email that made nerves settle in the pit of his stomach. A radio station had seen his YouTube channel and reached out with a request…
Live Show
The radio station asked Michael if he would be interested in doing an hour-long impromptu live show. As an anxious person, this was literally Michael’s worst nightmare.
Worst Nightmare
Michael grimaced and replied, “I’d love to!” He had dug his own grave. Now he had to lie in it. However, the worst was yet to come…
He Wasn’t Ready
The next morning, Michael was absolutely terrified. He regretted ever agreeing to this—it felt like he was preparing to go on the worst blind date of his life. On the way to the radio station, he tried to talk himself down from a panic attack.
Butterfingers
By the time he reached the station, Michael had concocted a number of phony excuses should he need to escape. When he went inside, the staff greeted him and handed him a glass of water. Michael’s hands were shaking so badly that he fumbled the glass and the water spilled all over the control board.
On Top of the World
Thankfully, the electronics survived intact, and aside from his minor screw-up, Michael’s radio show experience went surprisingly well. He was shocked that it had been such a great success. In fact, the experience was so liberating that he felt like he could do anything…
Man About Town
The next day, still riding high on his success, Michael decided to go for a walk and see what the world had to offer him. He was immediately confronted by a woman with a clipboard.
Saved by the Buzz
“Do you have time to talk about the rainforest?” she asked. Michael sighed. Of course he did. The woman began to talk and Michael strapped in for a long, boring afternoon…when his phone buzzed with a proposal.
Crossfit Conundrum
“Do you want to work out together tomorrow?” read the message. It was from Michael’s incredibly athletic friend who woke up at 7 A.M. to do Crossfit at least three times per week. He’d been asking Michael to join him for months on end. Michael sighed, typing out a reply he would come to regret: “I’d love to.”
Making Excuses
Michael woke up the next day filled with dread. “You know what?” he texted, “I’m not feeling great—I think it was the dessert from a few days ago.” If only his friend had believed him, it might have prevented what was to come…
Called Out
Michael’s friend saw right through his pitiful excuse and called him out on the lie. He tried his best to soothe Michael’s nerves by insisting that Crossfit was “chill” and the trainers would accommodate to each individual’s needs, but Michael wasn’t having any of it.
His First Mistake
How could Michael relax? This was a lazy person’s worst nightmare. He convinced his friend to push the workout back another day, to which he begrudgingly agreed. That was Michael’s first mistake…
Worst Possible Day
The following day, Michael arrived at the gym by 8 A.M. Unfortunately, waiting an extra day was the worst thing he could have done. Not only that, but he arrived late. “You came on a bad day,” was the first thing the trainer said to him. Yeah, any day that starts with CrossFit is a bad day, Michael thought to himself.
The Lies Keep Piling On
Instead of a regular workout, the trainer informed Michael that they would be doing 1,000 kettlebell swings. Michael was terrified. He had never done 1,000 of anything exercise-related in his life. “You think you can manage?” asked the trainer. Michael said yes. He was, as the trainer would soon learn, lying.
Not Feeling His Best
After only 100 swings, Michael was sweating profusely. The friction of the iron handles against his skin was made his hands begin to bleed. “My fingers looked as if I’d been high-fiving a blender,” Michael said. After thirty minutes, the trainer walked over to check up with the 22-year-old. He immediately noticed that Michael appeared to be in an alarming amount of pain.
At the Edge of his Rope
“How many swings have you done?” the trainer asked. Michael responded that he had done 600. The trainer, concerned by how pale and sweaty Michael had become, told him to stop and go home for the day. When Michael woke up the next day, he knew that something wasn’t right.
Something Was Wrong with Him
Despite how Michael felt, he tried his best to get out of bed. It took him five full minutes to pull his jeans on. Every single muscle in his body felt like it was screaming. He could barely move his arms and legs. After getting dressed, he hobbled out the door to see if he could hold up to another day of saying “yes.”
This Can’t Be Happening
By the time Michael made it out of the apartment, he felt like he might pass out. He stumbled into a nearby restaurant a few blocks from his apartment and burst into the restroom. He went to relieve himself, looked down, and noticed something extremely alarming.
Hitting the Floor
Michael’s urine had turned a deep brown color. His vision began to swim. He had no idea what was happening to him, but all he could feel was the agony of his muscles trying to keep him upright and raw palms throbbing. Soon, his world turned upside down—and then everything went dark.
Waking Up Somewhere Unfamiliar
When Michael woke up, the first thing he saw was bright fluorescent lights. His head was pounding and his body still felt like it was falling apart at the seams. That’s when Michael noticed that he was hooked up to a hospital IV. What had happened to him?
He Could Have Died
A doctor came in and explained to Michael that he had developed a near-fatal case of rhabdomyolysis, which is a serious syndrome where muscle fibers die and release their contents into the bloodstream. Michael had nearly experienced kidney failure. The doctor asked what he had done to himself, forcing Michael to reveal the humiliating truth: “I did a trial Crossfit session.”
Yes Ma’am
The doctor tried her best not to laugh. Michael couldn’t even bring himself to tell her he had left the session thirty minutes in. She told Michael he should stay in the hospital overnight for injections to counteract the condition. “Yes,” Michael responded. And this time, he really meant it.
Full Circle
The next morning, Michael was informed that his blood levels were improving and he could return home. As he checked himself out of the hospital, Michael’s phone buzzed. It was his friend who had asked him to attend the board game night exactly one week ago.
Happily A No Man
She asked if he wanted to see a ukelele concert with her. Michael thought back to a week ago—before he was tired, broke, and in pain. He smiled to himself as he typed out a response: “No.” Michael limped out the hospital doors toward a better, lazier, decidedly less action-packed future.