When Neil Epstein was diagnosed at age twelve, he didn’t anticipate that this issue would follow him throughout the remainder of his life. Though the verdict was troubling, he found a way to make the most of it. Read on to find out how…
Neil’s Story
Neil Epstein from New Barnet, North London leads a mostly normal life. He has four beautiful children and a wife he loves. But he also has a secret…
The Start of Something
It all began when Neil was six years old. Though he was tired after a long day of having fun, he had a recurring problem that just wouldn’t go away. He turned to his parents to confront the problem…
Talking to the Parents
He went to his parents with his concerns. He just couldn’t stay asleep, and he was worried something was wrong with his brain. If only he knew…
Turned Away
Neil’s mom wasn’t hearing it. She turned him away and called it a phase in growing up. Surely after some time, he would grow out of it. But it only got worse…
Wide Awake
Kept up at night, Neil began to get restless (literally). For many years, he complained to his parents that something was wrong. Finally, they decided to take Neil to a doctor. They never expected the diagnosis…
Finding It Out
After the visit with the doctor, Neil was diagnosed with acute insomnia. Sleep would be difficult for him forever, but he had no idea how bad it would get…
Running Around
He spent his night pacing his bedroom, trying to make himself physically tired. There was no reason why he was awake, and nothing seemed to help…
Other Options
His parents tried supplements, teas, and meditation. Nothing made any difference. He couldn’t sleep! But the worst part was how much time he spent awake…
Growing Up
As Neil aged, the time he spent awake increased but his time asleep drastically decreased. In school, he felt irritable and angry, unable to escape his condition night after night…
Head Banger
“I was so frustrated and desperate to sleep that I hit my head against the wall in the middle of the night,” he said, “If I couldn’t fall asleep, I thought, I’d knock myself out.” Being a teenager only made it worse…
Teenage Angst
The condition got even worse as a teenager. With hormones already making him moody and upset, the added stress of constantly being tired weighed heavily on his well-being…
Alone and Awake
Because he was angry all the time, Neil found it difficult to make friends in school. He didn’t mind being a loner though since he spent all his nights alone…
Falling In Love, Not Asleep
This constant irritability made romance and relationships difficult. No woman could stand his constant efforts to fall asleep and felt guilty to wake him…
Too Much to Take
Girlfriends would say, “I’ll make sure you get some sleep,” he said, “but my tossing and turning drove them away.” It seemed impossible to live like this…
A New Beginning
Eventually, though, he met his wife. Julia agreed that the sleep issues were too much, and as a result, wanted to sleep in separate beds. This worried him, but they decided to try it anyway…
A Good Decision
It turned out to be a good choice. “I couldn’t bear it if Julia woke me up when she snored.” he said, “‘How can you wake me up?’ I’d rage. ‘It’s taken me four hours to get to sleep.'” Both of them were happier apart after hours. But soon, he’d try a new medication…
Sleep Tablets
Sleeping pills are helpful, but because of their addictive qualities, Epstein is only permitted once a week. His dosage is three times the recommended dose and he gets 4 hours of sleep with the help…
Time Alone
Though he hopes he and his wife can one day sleep in the same bed, today, Epstein still struggles to sleep. He spends his nights walking around the house or getting some extra work in. This helped him out in some ways…
Childish Behavior
Eventually, Epstein and his wife had children, and his long nights awake proved to be useful as he could stay up with the crying babies all night. But the bliss didn’t last long…
Still Frustrated
Even though he grew out of his teenage anger, he retained some frustrations and envy of others who could easily fall asleep without worry. Once he drove a colleague home who fell asleep in the car, and he felt extreme envy for this skill. But he had some skills of his own…
Learning to Grow
As his children aged, they didn’t need Dad’s help falling asleep anymore. His time was free once again, so he spent these extra hours a day working on different projects and tasks…
Love Before Loss
Neil admitted that if it wasn’t for his wife, he might have taken his own life. But their love gave him a purpose to keep going, and eventually change his life…
Decades Awake
Altogether, Neil’s hours of lost sleep give him an extra 2 years of consciousness every ten years. That’s a lot of time to think about what to do with it…
Extra Time
With all this extra time on his hands, Neil decided to make something of his days. He taught himself French for years until he was fluent in the language. His horizons didn’t stop expanding…
Piano Man
He also learned how to play the piano, quietly serenading the sleeping household with his efforts to create new music, but that wasn’t the only thing he learned to create…
A Poet Who Didn’t Know It
He also taught himself the intricacies of poetry and short-story writing and has discovered writing as a secret passion of his. He says the lack of sleep has been a blessing, not just to himself either…
Listen and Learn
Though he hates being awake at all hours, those who call him at odds hours are grateful. Whether they’re sad, anxious, or just can’t sleep, they always have a friend to call! There are other advantages too…
Pillow Partier
At parties, Neil could stay out all night. He recounts once going out dancing until 6 AM and walking directly to work, feeling ready and refreshed after his long night! Despite the positives, he’s still looking for a cure…
Tried It All
“Over the years, I’ve taken part in numerous sleep studies and therapies: […]. Each new specialist would treat me as a challenge, determined that they’d be the one to crack my insomnia.” So far, there’s been no breakthrough, but he’s still hopeful…
Therapeutic Thinking
Epstein says that the best thing for him has been psychotherapy, which helps him talk through his desperate frustrations of sleep deprivation. He’s not exactly content but resigned to his fate.