Before there were docuseries and fantasy TV shows, people really were living a life of royalty behind closed doors. It may seem like luxurious living, but things were a lot more disgusting behind the scenes. These are some of the little known details about life in a castle...
Secret Shelter
These palaces were beautiful on the outside but a place of secrecy on the inside. There were often hidden rooms to protect royal family members or people of high importance. That way, should the castle ever be taken over, there was a way for the ones in charge to be safe and protected.
Wartime Fortress
Though you might associate the life of royalty with fine dining and drinking, the truth is that it was also a very threatening position. The castles were extravagant, but they were also used as fortresses during periods of war. As it turns out, wars happened quite a lot back then...
Sliver of Sight
Intruders were a common and annoying issue back in the day, so one way to handle them was entrapment within the courtyards. Once they realized their plan had no escape route, the invaders would be shot at with a bow and arrow through a thin sliver of the castle walls. Inhabitants would fire away!
Breaking Barriers
Two barriers typically created the main gate for one very clever reason. Should invaders have made it past the first entrance, there was always a chance that they could get caught between the first and the second barrier. Once there, the siege they had planned would be entirely debunked.
Deadly Doorway
Doorways were made both to be aesthetically pleasing as well as helpful protectors. It wasn't unusual to have an entryway with a password required. Some of them also had traps to maneuver through. If you failed to pass the test, there was no guarantee that you would make it out alive...
Army Guessing Game
There were tons of obstacles against intruders throughout the grounds. Whether that meant an annoying door, a tricky walkway, a large lawn that allowed for an easy shot, or even a moat in some cases, there were a lot of ways to stop an unknown person from getting in. Quite a lot to get through...
Creating Obstacles
The layouts of medieval castles weren't just beautiful pieces of architecture, but they were also a true innovation once upon a time. The designs were considered a very modern and technical approach to some of society's most pressing issues at the time. The best way to protect a hoome was also the most breathtaking!
Going In Circles
Concentric circles of defense were first invented as a way to, surprise, protect the castle. Looking at this castle from above, it's obvious how the double walls would be a help to those protecting the ones inside. Two walls mean two chances to stop the impending forces of doom!
Dirt Ridden
The palaces might have been made of gold, but actually living in the palace was kind of disgusting. It wasn't unheard of to just be covered head to toe in dirt. There were very poor sanitation conditions and terrible hygiene throughout the court. Nasty!
Fighting Filthiness
Henry VIII of England was particularly gross. Historian Alison Weir wrote of the King, he “waged a constant battle against the dirt, dust, and smells that were unavoidable when so many people lived in one establishment." The filth was confined to a few specific areas...
Chamber Potty
Of course, chamber pots were the main reason every palace was so nasty all the time. Modern plumbing was several decades away, so this was the next best thing. Even the kings and queens of the era were subjected to this kind of bathroom. While it certainly wasn't ideal, it was better than the alternative.
Into the Streets
Once the chamber pot was filled, there was no flushing mechanism to wash it all away. Instead, people would just kind of leave it anywhere. Not only that, but they wouldn't confine themselves purely to the toilet either. People relieved themselves in hallways, staircases, even on the street.
X Marks the Spot
Not everyone was a fan of freely urinating in public. King Henry VII was so disgusted by the practice that he often had to paint large X's on the walls surrounding his garden to dissuade any "relief." It didn't work though, people just used the giant markings as a way to practice their aim.
Nude Cooking
Henry VIII must have had a truly disgusting castle because one of his other big issues was that his cooks never kept their clothes on. They loved to work completely in the nude. This was obviously unhygienic, even by olden standards, so a decree had to be made banning naked cooks.
Lined With Lice
Lice, lice everywhere! Similar to a kindergarten class, these castles were often overrun by lice. As a way to prevent this itchy annoyance from getting to the king, he often slept in a bed surrounded by animal furs. These didn't fully prevent it, but it sure did help!
Tunneling Through
If you've ever wondered if Buckingham Palace or other big castles have hidden passageways, the answer is yes. Though the public isn't supposed to know about these, multiple reporters have accounts of secret tunnels running through these massive mansions. Perfect for eavesdropping into an important conversation...
Food Stench
Food waste was another huge issue that King Henry VII faced. Rotting food was often left in hallways and rooms by attendants and guests, which certainly did not help the health or hygiene of the home. There was also a terrible smell left by the food almost constantly. It had to be gross in there...
Smelling the Flowers
King Henry tried to create a life hack to cover the smell of pee and old food. He had fresh flowers brought in around the clock, hoping that the scent of lilacs and daffodils could cloak the scent of the people. This didn't work, obviously, and eventually, the smell got so bad that people had to evacuate!
Unclean Cleaning
This might be the grossest one of all. When the court evacuated, the cleaners used their own urine to clean and sanitize the space. They collected all of their pee in a large bucket and used that to mop the floors. This sounds terrible, but there were far worse jobs to have at the palace...
Gong Scourers
Most likely, being one of the king's gong scourers was the worst job you could receive on the palace grounds. All human waste was directed to an underground hole in an effort to keep the castle as clean as possible for the time. This is where the gong scourers came in, though unhappily...
Wasted Waste
When the waste started to pile up, it was the gong scourers who went to clean! Despite having good intentions, the method didn't do much for cleanliness or stench. Henry VIII’s beautiful world-renowned Hampton Court never got far enough from the smell to be pleasant...
Travelling Troupe
In 1535, Henry’s massive court of over 700 people decided to take an official tour of England in order to escape the stench for a long period of time, hopefully, when they came back the smell would be gone. Their records however show this as a 'public relations venture'. However, most people know it was for the odor...
Lousy Louis
If you thought Henry VIII was the smelliest king in history, you would be wrong. Another king who suffered from stinky surroundings was King Louis XIV of France. Though he is remembered for his extravagance and elegance, he also smelled absolutely terrible. There's no escaping this stench...
Uncleanliness
Have you ever seen Marie Antoinette? Though the film often shows the royals as being pretty clean, this is far from the truth. They rarely ever bathed! Smelly King Louis XIV of France is believed to have only bathed three times throughout his entire life. That's right, only 3 times!
Public Grounds
Versailles went from a golden palace to a yellow one. Visiting aristocrats used the entire area as a way to relieve themselves, with or without the King there. They covered the front lawn in their own excrement and even did so within the chapel. Certainly not as religious as we like to think they were...
Hit in the Head
Public urination and relief were so commonplace that there is one truly grotesque story about Marie Antoinette. Apparently, once while taking a nice stroll outside, Marie was hit with a flying piece of fecal matter. Needless to say, that was not the finest hour for Marie...
Lice Puppies
Lice were a near-constant issue for the palaces, but not enough to stop King Charles II. The royal highness of England frequently permitted his lice-infested puppies to sleep with him in his bedroom, and typically also in his bed. In his mind, dogs weren't able to give him lice for some reason...
King Stinky
Of all the royals, King James I was said to have been the nastiest in terms of hygiene. He never bathed once in his entire life. As a result, his lice infestation was one of the worst in history. It's said that later in his life, he agreed that maybe he should have been a little cleaner...
Worldwide Stench
If you thought the King smelled bad, just imagine the servants. Almost no one back then bathed throughout their entire lives. Why would they? They had no running water, slept in dirty rooms, and had difficulty finding clean water. It's amazing anyone even attempted it...
Toilet Hole
Toilets back then were not what we know today. Instead of a porcelain throne, it's more likely that you would sit on a bench with a hole in the middle of it. The waste from the bench would either fall into a hole or farther down into a moat that surrounded a castle. Don't fall into that river...
Open Floor Plan
These castles would likely not make a mark on House Hunters. The people who lived in the mansions, unless they were royalty, had pretty much zero privacy. Call it an "open-floor concept" because you were probably sharing one room with several other people. What an annoying way to bond...
Crowded Halls
If you imagine hallways in mansions to be big and spacious, you would be correct by today's standards. However, back in the day, it wasn't uncommon to fill up hallways with pretty much anything you could find. Not only that, but over 100 people lived inside. Make way!
Working Royals
Everyone in the castle had a job, no matter how high up they were. Even the important officials were tasked with managing politics and land protection. Obviously the servants handled all cleaning and cooking work for these people. The mansion was filled with the finest minds and dirtiest hands...
Expanding Networks
In a medieval establishment, a person could acquire only one of five jobs. For those who were members of the upper-class, you could become a nobility, someone in the clergy, or just a member of the royal court. Poorer classes became merchants, craft-makers, and workers. Which would you rather be?
Thin Windows
Not a lot of sunlight in this castle, hm? People in the castle often had to rise as soon as the sun did. This way, the workers were able to get their chores completed in the light, which was in short supply inside. If a servant overslept, they could potentially miss the entire day!
Bottoms Up!
No one in the mansions was ever sober. Drinking was a way of life and liquor was always readily available. Water was often dangerous to consume since it was so often teeming with bacteria and harmful toxins. Drinking alcohol just seemed like a safer alternative.
Fancy Parties
Living in a castle meant living for feasts and parties year-round. These were always a huge deal and the work that went into preparing for the day was astronmical. Sadly, only the upper class got to partake in them. Servants weren't even allowed to taste the fine foods they made.
Family and Friends
In the dining hall, things were done in a very particular way. Kings and Queens sat first, with their royal children surrounding them (if they had any). Then, the rest of the royal court would file in around them. The royals were also served before everyone else. After that, the party truly began!
Clean Soul
In between all the partying and evacuations, people would attend religious ceremonies. If you couldn't clean your body, it helped to at least clean your soul. Those who found solace in religion wouldn't even have to leave the premises. Of course, it probably got them away from the smell...
Roaming Rats
Rats were everywhere in medieval times. With a surplus of rotting food, the warmth between walls, open water sources, and plenty of places to hide, an old castle was a paradise for mice and rats. They came in large numbers and were a huge issue for the era...
Reigning Cats and Dogs
Cats and dogs really ran the place. Floors were extremely dirty, covered not only in hair from the animals, but a few things that were worse. Considering people didn't clean up after themselves, it's not exactly surprising that no one was responsible for cats and dogs as well. Servants tried to covered the smell with herbs, but it never worked.
Bathtime
Take your bathtub to go! This portable wooden tub was perfect for the few people who liked to bathe their gross bodies every once in a while. The tub would relocate frequently, traversing from one room to the next for the next person to use. It was unhygienic, but it was as close as anyone got to be clean.
Ye Olde Tinder
Before there were dating apps, there was a lot of sneaking around. Copulation with a spouse was forbidden unless you two were planning to make a child. Just thinking about sex was a crime, so those who wanted to partake outside of child making had to hide in foresrs from public humiliation.
Torture TV
Don't get on the king's bad side, otherwise, he might just order some brutal torture to be performed. Whenever a ruler was feeling irritated or even just bored, they found a great deal of entertainment in watching the mutilation of their imprisoned. That's some pretty vicious treatment...
Public Politics
They say to never discuss politics openly, and this might be why. Those who were imprisoned were ones with conflicting political beliefs. Torture for those taken in was subjecting them to capturing rats in a basket, then tying it to said imprisoned person, and finally letting the rats eat their way out of the body.
Feeling Freezing
Castles were beautiful to look at, but those big lofty rooms left a lot of cold air to hang around. The mansions were often freezing cold, making fireplaces a necessity in nearly every room. The stone walls didn't hold heat, so make sure you get under a blanket before sleeping over!
Frequent Fires
Fires happened all the time in the kitchen. For some wild reason, mostly wooden tools didn't always mix well with large fires, who knew! For years this was just part of the job until finally, kitchens started shifting their designs to being made of stone. Ah yes, that makes more sense...
Spiral Stairs
Back in the day, every spiral staircase in a castle, of which there were many, was clockwise. This was done for a specific reason: with clockwise stairs, right-handed intruders would have a harder time swinging their swords at the castle guards. Everything had some thought...
Careful Planning
Before they were party places, castles were made to be fortresses that kept the rest of the world out. Though they eventually just became luxury homes, many mansions from this time period are museums and relics of the past. How much can you learn from these old buildings?
Making Moats
Moats aren't just for sandcastles, they were also once found on the outskirts of real castles. A moat is a body of water separating the building from the mainland. The moat, contrary to popular belief, wasn't actually there to keep enemies from entering though. It served another purpose...
Dig In
For some reason, designers of castles earnestly believed that enemies would try to dig underneath the castle to gain entrance. To combat this, moats were implemented so that any attempt at a tunnel would be instantly flooded. Those who tried to crawl in would drown to death in water and feces.
New Digs
In quite a few castles, the moat didn't surround the castle. Instead, it was located in the center of the first and second castle walls. Those who dug tunnels would not even know how bad things were going to get until it was far too late. They must have really wanted to break in...
Toilet Tunnel
The moats were perfect for keeping enemies away, but they also had a functional purpose. The moats were also helpful to those inside the castle who needed to relieve themselves. Many toilets led directly to the outside moat, which left a gross smell all around the grounds...
The Lourve
Back before everything happened, the illustrious King Louis XIV used to live in the Louvre, which is now one of the most famous museums. Unfortunately, he chose to move out because it was in the very centre of Paris. There, he wouldn't be able to grow his estate!
Hunting Lodge
Would you believe that the beautiful palace of Versailles was once a hunting lodge? King Louis XIII had rarely ever visited the lodge beforehand, and forty years later, it was King Louis XIV who decided to remodel it into the magnificent mansion that it is known as today. Wow!
Versailles Swamp
Versailles was actually built on a swamp, and building in the area required a lot of restructuring. The surrounding swamps were filled with stones and soil until it could be built upon. They also did their best to dry out the swamps. After his construction, it was breathtaking!
Dress Coded
If you wanted to take a walk in the gardens, make sure to bring your best look! Anyone was permitted to walk the grounds, but they had to be very well-dressed. Whoever refused was also refused entry onto the grounds. Elegance was everything to these people!
Purposeful Palace
The palace of Versailles was purposefully made to be the most extravagant place in the world. For King Louis, it meant that he was, by association, the best and most brilliant leader. He wanted visitors to be dazzled by the elegance, gold, and glory that the hallways brought.
Facts and Figures
The Palace of Versailles has magnificent gardens that covered well over 30,000+ acres. The gardens also included about 400 unique sculptures and 1400 fountains. There were also two smaller palaces on the grounds, one of which Marie Antoinette liked to hide away inside.
Cold Food
While the kitchens of Versailles were massive and well-kept, they were also inconveniently located. Typically found in the basements or far wings, it was pretty common for food to be served cold, making most food back then taste pretty gross.