What On Earth Were These Celebrities Thinking When They Named Their Kids?

For whatever reason, celebrities seem to take a lot of creative liberties when it comes to naming their kids. Even if they have a completely ordinary name themselves, they'll randomly choose words from a dictionary (seriously) when deciding the fate of their ultimately famous kid. If you thought "Apple" was a reach, wait until you read about these...

Diezel and Denim Braxton

Musicians Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis have two sons together named Denim Cole and Diezel Ky. They sound really cool when paired together, but by themselves, they don't stand a chance. Poor Denim. 

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

Gwen Stefani and her ex-husband Gavin Rossdale share three sons together. One of them is named Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. That's such a mouthful, and arguably none of it makes sense. Now, Stefani is engaged to Blake Shelton.

Harley Quinn Smith

Director Kevin Smith and his wife Jennifer Schwalbach Smith really did name their daughter after the Harley Quinn. 20-year-old Harley is a singer and actor. Maybe one day if Margot Robbie ever drops Suicide Squad, she'll have her chance. 

Bronx Mowgli Wentz

While musicians Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were together, they had a son named Bronx Mowgli. Whatever it stands for, it's a pretty badass name. Now, both Simpson and Wentz have new partners. 

Jermajesty Jackson

Jermaine Jackson, of The Jackson Five, and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza, have a nineteen-year-old son named Jermajesty. It's meant to be a combination of "Jermaine" and "Majesty," but it's a reach. He's also a musician, so maybe he's going to capitalize on the unique image. 

Fifi Trixibelle Geldof

Bob Geldof of The Boomtown Rats and Band Aid, and his wife Paula Yates, have a daughter named Fifi Trixibelle. There isn't much known about her, but that name seems more fitting for a tiny dog. She did recently say in a rare interview, that she has suffered from clinical depression since she was 11.

Pilot Inspektor

Jason Lee and his wife Beth Riesgraf are both actors who specialize in comedy. They have a 16-year-old son named Pilot Inspektor Lee, and clearly they brought their skills from comedy into their baby names. They were apparently inspired by the rock band Grandaddy.

Ode Mountain Delorenzo Malone

The Hunger Games actress Jena Malone and her ex Ethan DeLorenzo named their son Ode Mountain. There's no reason behind it as far as anyone else knows, but it does give off a sort of Walden-esque vibe. The boy is five years old now. 

Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence

Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson's daughter, born in 2012, has quite the mouthful of a name. Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence is the full title, and there's a reason behind it. We couldn’t quite agree on the name, so we call her Luna,” Uma told Jimmy Fallon.

Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow, Buddy Bear Maurice, and River Rocket Blue Dallas

Chef Jamie Oliver and his wife Juliette Norton have five children together, and all of their names are... something special.  Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow, Buddy Bear Maurice, and River Rocket Blue Dallas make the complete lineup. They sound like cartoon characters, no?

Audio Science Clayton

Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton have a child with a rather clinical-sounding name. Audio Science came to be by the couple picking two random words out of a dictionary. When is that ever a good idea?

Gravity Blue Smith

Models Stormi Bree and Lucky Blue Smith have unique names on their own, so of course they gave their daughter an equally creative moniker. Though they aren't together anymore, Lucky and Stormi were one of Instagram's most popular couples for a minute. Now, he's dating someone else.

Beatrice Danger Brocklebank

Jess Weixler from The Good Wife and her husband Hamish Brocklebank welcomed their daughter, Beatrice Danger, in 2019. Have you ever met someone with a middle name that bold? She sounds like she's straight out of a country-western movie.

Kyd Miller Duchovny

The X Files star David Duchovny and his ex-wife Téa Leoni named their son Kyd Miller. The reasoning behind his name? "Kyd" is the old English term for "baby goat." It's cute, but less-so when you're seventeen, like Kyd is now.

Moroccan Scott Cannon

Both Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are known for their dramatics. While they were married, Cannon and Carey had twins, and one is named Moroccan Scott. The name doesn't specifically come from the African nation of Morocco, but the theme of the room where Cannon proposed to Carey. 

Winter Mercy Morissette-Treadway

The "Ironic" singer and her partner Mario Souleye Treadway named their youngest child Winter Mercy. It sounds like Morissette took notes from her songwriting career to come up with the most poetic name she could think of.

Banks Violet Bair

Hilary Duff and her husband, singer Matthew Koma, welcomed a daughter together last year. Her name is Banks Violet Bair, and it actually has kind of a nice ring to it. She also has a son, Luca, from a previous marriage.

Everest Hobson Lucas

The genius behind Star Wars, George Lucas, and his wife Mellody Hobson, have a 7-year-old son named Everest Hobson Lucas. It's possible they named their child after the mountain. If not, it still has a cool ring to it.

Heiress Diana Harris

T.I. and his wife Tameka Cottle have a 3-year-old daughter named Heiress Diana. However, her full name - sans middle - is "Heiress Harriss." Did they plan that? Or did they intend to pay homage to Princess Diana?

Huckleberry and Marmaduke

The famous outdoorsman and TV personality, Bear Grylls, and his wife Shara Grylls, have a total of three children together. Two of them have... outrageous names. Meet Marmaduke Mickey Percy Grylls & Huckleberry Edward Jocelyne Grylls.

Apple Martin

Apple Martin has quite the famous family. Her father is Coldplay's Chris Martin, her mother is actress Gwyneth Paltrow, and her grandmother is actress Blythe Danner. Her name shocked fans of both parents, but it seems to fit. The couple have since split. 

Diva Thin Mffin Pigeen Zappa

Legendary rockstar Frank Zappa and his wife Gail Zappa named their daughter Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. What the heck do those middle names mean? However, despite the absurdity, she's been able to forge a successful acting career for herself. 

Birdie Leigh and Cricket Pearl

Busy Philipps and her husband Marc Silverstein have two daughters, Birdie Leigh and Cricket Pearl. He should have known with a wife named Busy that they'd probably end up with unique baby names. Busy has a big personality, and her daughters' names aptly fit that. 

Blue Ivy, Rumi, and Sir Carter

Beyoncé and Jay-Z named their oldest daughter Blue Ivy, and the news nearly broke the Internet. However, when the superstar announced her pregnancy with twins, it took fans by surprise even more, and the tiny duo Sir and Rumi are the cutest things we've ever seen.

Cosimo Henri Hansen

Remember when Beck seemingly came out of nowhere and won a Grammy for Album of the Year a few years ago? That's how a lot of people feel when they learn that he also has a son with Marissa Ribisi. His name is Cosimo, and he's a fashion icon.

Doone Isla Brown

Amanda Beard, the former Olympic swimmer, and photographer Sacha Brown, have two children together. Their son, Blaise Ray, was born in 2009. Their daughter has a pretty unique name, Doone Isla, and she was born in 2013.

Future Zahir Wilburn

Future Zahir Wilburn is the child of singer Ciara and rapper Future. They agreed to name their son after his father, but they didn't stay together long. Now, Ciara is married to football player Russell Wilson. 

Indiana August

Casey Affleck and his ex-wife Summer Phoenix have two children, one of which is named Indiana August. Both parents also have famous siblings. Casey's brother is actor Ben Affleck. Summer is the sister of actors Joaquin and the late River Phoenix.

Indiana August

Casey Affleck and his ex-wife Summer Phoenix have two children, one of which is named Indiana August. Both parents also have famous siblings. Casey's brother is actor Ben Affleck. Summer is the sister of actors Joaquin and the late River Phoenix.

Kash Biermann

Reality star Kim Zolciak and Atlanta football player Kroy Biermann have several kids together, all of which have "K" names. The standout is one of their older sons, Kash. There is also Kaya, KJ, and Kane. 

Lourdes

Madonna's daughter Lourdes seems to go by one name, just like the singer, Lorde. No relation, though. She's currently a student at the University of Michigan. Aside from school, she's an actress and model who works for Stella McCartney.

Maple Bateman

Jason Bateman is best known for taking roles in comedy films, but didn't his wife, Amanda Anka, want to veto the funny name "Maple"? Are they Canadian? Is this in relation to the leaf?

North West

Kim and Kanye's oldest daughter definitely broke the Internet (sorry, Blue Ivy) when her name was announced. People either thought North West was the most clever or the most ridiculous name they've ever heard. Her siblings are also named Chicago, Saint, and Psalm, if it makes a difference.

Stormi Webster

Kylie managed to keep her entire pregnancy a secret. When she and Travis Scott announced the birth of their daughter in 2018, fans freaked out. Now, Stormi is one of the most iconic kids on the Internet.

Puma Sabti Curry

R&B singer Erykah Badu named her daughter Puma, and that's actually a really cool move. Her father is rapper The D.O.C. She also has two siblings, one from her mother's relationship with  rapper Jay Electronica.

Sunday Rose Urban

Actress Nicole Kidman and country star Keith Urban have two daughters, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret. Sunday is apparently a popular baby name, because actor Mike Myers named his daughter the same thing. Kidman also has two adoptive children from her previous marriage to Tom Cruise.

Bluebell Madonna

Spice Girl Ginger, aka Geri Halliwell, named her daughter Bluebell Madonna. She was born in 2006 and they practically look like twins. Bluebell also has a brother, Montague, born in 2007.

Remember This Iconic Dress?

The all-star girl group, The Spice Girls, were the biggest pop stars in the 1990s thanks to hit songs like "If You Wanna Be My Lover." Halliwell left the group in 1998 to start her solo career, but she rejoined the group in 2007 for a reunion. Her solo record, Schizophonic, had three number one singles. 

Usher

Usher is a great dad, and he even named his son Usher to prove it. The little guy is the spitting image of his dad. His mother is Tameka Foster.

Zolten Jillette

The magician has another child with an unusual name. Zolten Jillette is the youngest son of Penn and Emily Jillette. what did you expect the illusionist to do, give his kids traditional names?

Story Elfman

Toby Maguire and Jenna Elfman's daughter Story's name isn't necessarily weird, but it's definitely sweet. The actors are no longer together, and they've been involved in a lengthy divorce. But the kids grew up to be pretty cute!

Dusty Rose

Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo named their first daughter Dusty Rose. Their other daughter is named Gio Grace. Both of them are certainly creative choices considering their father is a rockstar and their mother is a supermodel.

A Happy Family

Earlier this year, Levine announced that he was going to leave his NBC show, The Voice, in order to spend more time with his wife and children. He and model Behati Prinsloo have been married since 2014. She worked as a Victoria's Secret model from 2007 to 2015, and then again for campaigns in 2018.

Kulture Kiari

Cardi B and her then-fiancee Offset have a daughter together named Kulture Kiari. Offset is just a stage name; his legal name is Kiari Kendrell Cephus. Kulture's middle name is a nice homage to her dad.

On-Again, Off-Again

Cardi B and Offset married officially in 2017, and she's been candid about how marriage requires work. She announced in 2018 that she and Offset were expecting a baby on Saturday Night Live. However, just five months after Kulture was born, the couple split. They've been off and on about three times since then. 

Moxie CrimeFighter

The magician Pen Jillette and wife Emily Zolten have a daughter named Moxie Crimefighter. That's not an endearing nickname, either. That's her real name. She's currently fourteen years old and hopefully not being bullied. 

Penn and Teller

Penn Jillette is one half of the famous magical duo, Penn and Teller. Jillette and Teller have performed together since the 1970s. Generally, Teller doesn't speak during shows and Jillette will narrate the act. 

Rocket Zot

Lara Bingle Worthington and Sam Worthington have a son named Rocket Zot. The actor and model are huge fans of their four-year-old's name. The name "Zot" has no translation, but the couple is Australian, so maybe it's a colloquialism. 

Parents of Three

Bingle and Worthington have been in a relationship since 2013. He is best known for his role as Jake Sully in James Cameron's Avatar and she is a model. They moved from Sydney, Australia to New York City in 2014, and have three children together. 

Satchel Lee

Filmmaker Spike Lee and his wife Tonya Lewis have a daughter named Satchel. Yes, the same thing as a type of backpack. Even if it is a unique name, it's definitely on the cooler side than any of the other ones we've seen so far.

Iconic Filmography

Spike Lee is responsible for directing some of the most famous movies of all time. He created Malcolm X, School Daze, and BlacKkKlansman. He frequently collaborates with Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, and Wesley Snipes.

Speck Wildhorse

Singer John Mellencamp and his wife Elain Irwin really did name their son Speck Wildhorse. In total, the couple has five kids, all with unique names. Hud, Justice, Teddi Jo, and Michelle aren't completely unusual, but poor Speck got the short end of the stick. 

A Former Collaborator

John used to have Speck play with him on stage when he was a teenager, and they made quite the rock and roll duo. Now, Speck is a college football player. You can often find the famous family front and center at his games.

Memphis Eve Sunny Day

Bono's daughter is named Memphis Eve Sunny Day Hewson. She goes by Eve Hewson professionally. Her full name looks like Bono and his wife Ali Hewson couldn't agree on one. 

A Prolific Acting Career

Hewson's first acting role was in 2005 in Lost and Found, but her big break came in 2011's This Must Be the Place. Her most recent role was in 2020's Tesla.

Lyra Antarctica

Ed Sheeran and his wife Cherry Seaborn kept their pregnancy extremely quiet, and announced only a few weeks ago that she'd given birth to a baby girl. They named her Lyra Antarctica but didn't give an explanation behind it. Looks like he finally has a little person to sing "Small Bump" to. 

High School Friends

Sheeran and Seaborn have known each other for years. They dated through high school, but called it quits when his career started to pick up. He wrote the song "Perfect," from his album Divide, about her, and it's likely that that's when they rekindled their relationship. As with her pregnancy, they also kept their marriage a secret. 

X Æ A-12

The child of singer Grimes and Tesla CEO Elon Musk has a pretty un-pronounceable name. They say it's said like "X-Ash-12," but oh boy is that going to be a rough one for elementary school students to grasp. The odd couple confirmed their relationship at the 2018 Met Gala and have been a social media spectacle ever since.

SpaceX and Beyond

There's a significant age difference between Musk and Grimes, and he also has a set of twins and a set of triplets from his previous marriage. Grimes attended the SpaceX Hyperloop Pod Competition in 2018 with all five of Musk's sons in tow. Now that they have another child of their own, that brings his total up to six kids.

Raddix Madden

People often forget Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden are married. They recently had a kid, a daughter named Raddix Madden. Diaz was 47 when she gave birth, which is impressive in itself, let alone how private she managed to keep her pregnancy. She's now nearly a year old, and the celebrity parents have done a great job at keeping her out of the spotlight.

A Whirlwind Romance

Diaz met Madden through her sister-in-law, Nicole Richie, who is married to Benji's twin brother Joel. They got engaged after seven months of dating and married in January of 2015. The wedding was private and took place at her Beverly Hills home.

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The More You Know

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  • A U.S. park ranger named Roy C. Sullivan held the record for being struck by lightning the most times, having been struck — and surviving — seven times between 1942 and 1977.

Post originally appeared on Upbeat News.