Jennifer Weiss never knew about her birth parents. When she went to find out who they were, she was thrown into a lifelong quest to find important answers.
A Happy Childhood
Jennifer Weiss grew up without her biological mother or father, but she had quite a normal childhood. She was put up for adoption when she was just two weeks old and was told that she was adopted at 4-years-old. Growing up, she always had questions about her parents and where she came from.
Facing the Truth
In 2002, 24-year-old Weiss went searching for her biological parents. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but she wanted to find out the truth about her parents and possibly meet them. When she finally got a response from one of the many adoption agencies that she had contacted, her life changed...
A Totally Different Story
Weiss found out the truth about her mother through the adoption agency that helped her find her adoptive parents. The social worker gave her newspaper clippings with her mother’s face on it and said, “I’m sorry, but your mother was killed by a serial killer.”
What Now?
The news was shocking, but it sparked a fire in her heart. She read through the news clippings to find out what exactly happened, who did it, and, most importantly, who her mother really was…
Deedeh Goodarzi
Her mother was a high-class call girl in Trenton in the late 1970s. Her family had immigrated from Iran when she was very young; she grew up extremely poor. She was found dead in a Times Square motel room on December 2nd, 1979, dismembered and set on fire. She was only 22 years old.
Robert Cottingham
Deedeh’s murderer was Robert Cottingham, also known as the Torso Killer. In the early 80s, he had been arrested in connection with multiple deaths. In 1984, he was convicted of Goodarzi’s murder, along with the murders of six other women in New York and New Jersey. To this day, Cottingham claims to have killed up to 100 women in total.
Where To Go From There
Naturally, Weiss was a little shaken up from all of this information. Her young mother was the victim of a serial killer, and she was put up for adoption because of it. Weiss needed answers—she knew that she had to visit her mother’s killer. The only question was when.
10 Years Later
It took Weiss 10 years to convince herself to write to him. She was feeling fearless after overcoming a battle with breast cancer and she knew writing him was the right decision. She wanted answers and, finally, to feel peace. Most importantly, she wanted to know where her mother’s skull was. That was the one thing that the police couldn’t recover, and Cottingham never gave up the information on his victims’ body parts.
Writing Her Mother’s Killer
“I felt fearless,” Weiss said in an interview. “I felt invincible. I started to write Richard and ask him to put me on his guest list. I made it light-hearted and funny and made it really comfortable for him to say ‘Yes.’”
Her Strategy
Weiss knew that she needed to approach him with a heart full of forgiveness. She wanted to exchange her friendship for the information that she and many others desperately needed. “What meant more was that this is a human being,” she said. “I had to go there with love and respect and I had to respect this whole man because he was put on the planet to do all these tragic things.”
He Wrote Back
A month later, Weiss received a three-page letter from Cottingham. “I just don’t know what to say to you, or how to say it,” said Cottingham, in the handwritten letter. “I can only tell you what’s in my heart and pray that you believe me. I am truly and deeply sorry, so very sorry, for all the pain I have brought into your life.”
Two Months Went By
Finally, three months after Weiss mustered the courage to write to Cottingham, she was added to his visitation list. Cottingham was living out his life sentence at New Jersey State Prison, which housed the state’s worst criminals. Naturally, she was a little nervous, but ready to meet him face to face....
The Fateful Day
Finally, it was time for Weiss to meet him in prison. She was nervous but thankful that a glass wall would separate them. The person that she was writing to and the person who committed the horrific crimes seemed like two separate people… He could easily have two sides to him.
One Important Question
She had multiple questions prepared, but one question that she never talked about with anyone. Could he be her biological father? Was it even possible? She knew it was a stretch, but she felt such a connection to him that it could be true…
His Life Story
Cottingham answered all of the easy questions first. He was a quiet guy with a wife and three kids. He worked the night shift as a computer console operator in Manhattan. After that shift was over, he changed into an entirely different person...
Cottingham and Her Mother
Cottingham and Weiss's mother had known each other for two years. In fact, he was one of Goodarzi’s recurring clients. Despite having developed a bizarre relationship, she still succumbed to his antics. Since they had known each other for so long, Weiss knew what her next question had to be…
Are You My Dad?
When she asked if he could be her father, he was quiet. He said that it was “possible but not probable.” In the grand scheme of things, he was just one of her many clients. Anything was possible. Weiss decided to leave it at that before getting into anything heavier.
Why Did He Do It?
Weiss had to get to the hard question. Why did he do it? Cottingham wasn’t comfortable talking about his motives, so he only told her a little bit. He was unhappy and had desires to fulfill. That was only the very beginning of what he would tell her…
It Was Like Visiting an Old Friend
In a bizarre twist, Weiss said that meeting Cottingham was like meeting an old friend. They were very compatible and held easy conversations with each other. That first visit turned into 30 more over the next three years.
They Became Close Friends
Weiss and Cottingham became casual friends as if nothing had happened. When she wasn’t visiting him, they were actively keeping up on the phone. Over time, Cottingham began to open up and vent to Weiss about his past crimes. She ended up learning a lot more than she bargained for…
His Motives
At one point, Cottingham revealed that he was just selfish by nature. “He cared about himself and his needs," said Weiss. “He wanted to get over on people, he wanted to win. He wanted to cheat. He wanted to steal. He just wanted to thrash through every day and think he was in charge of his own life.”
He Could Get Away With It
He admitted that since he was such an unassuming person, he could easily get away with it. And, he did. For a long time. The relationships he had never suffered before he was convicted of these crimes. Everyone just thought he was a nice guy. He admitted to leading a double life.
How He Was Caught
Cottingham was arrested in 1980 after a maid heard a woman screaming from a motel room. She called the police, who barged into the room to find Cottingham with an 18-year-old woman who had handcuffs on her ankles and a knife wound on her chest. His rampage was over.
The Torso Killer
Thanks to Weiss, he admitted to three other cold-case killings in the area. After a while, he finally told her the information that she sought after the most: where her mother’s head was.
Revealing the Location
After a while, Cottingham finally revealed the location of her mother’s skull. He said that it was the base of the George Washington Bridge. Weiss felt relieved to hear the location and immediately told the police…
No Luck
Tragically, the search came up short. They couldn’t find any human remains, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there. Weiss still had hope that Cottingham told her the truth.
Their Friendship
Naturally, her friendship with her mother’s murderer has drawn some attention. Some people think that she’s insane to befriend a felon like that. “The magnitude of what he did is unfathomable,” said Weiss. “But I became friends with Richard for my mother’s sake and for my quest.”
Her Quest Isn’t Over
“I’m doing this for the mothers who lost their daughters and my own mother. And for these girls that their lives were ended one night or day by Richard playing God,” said Weiss. “I’m not going to rest easy until we figure out who they were. So that’s why I do what I do.”
Father-Daughter Relationship
Weiss has said that she views Cottingham as a father. “I’d love to sort through the mess he made,” she said. “It’s like, ‘Come on Dad, we gotta pick up these pieces because he’s so old. Sometimes when I talk to him I’ll say, [while snapping her fingers] ‘Hey pops,’ to bring him back to ‘Let's do this for humanity’ because he has no desire to do anything for humanity.”
Are They Related?
Even though paternity testing is available, they decided to forgo it for the time being. Whether or not he is her father means nothing to her at this point. She only cares about Cottingham, bringing him peace, and bringing the families he hurt justice.