Everyone knows that it takes a village to raise a child – but what about when it takes a village just to bring the child into the world?
Pregnant Grandma?
In Omaha, Nebraska, a healthy baby girl named Uma Louise Dougherty-Eledge was born to a woman named Cecile Reynek Eledge. Cecile was also Uma’s biological grandmother. How was this possible?
Making A Choice
Cecile, at the age of sixty-one, had carried three children of her own prior to Uma. She said she had loved being pregnant decades earlier. Cecile’s children were now grown—including her son, Matthew Eledge, who desperately wanted a child with his partner…
They Wanted to Start a Family
Matthew, 32, and his husband, Elliot Dougherty, 29, were planning to start their family together. When they told Cecile, Matthew’s mother, she was immediately on board…in more ways than one.
The Benefits of Parenthood
Cecile’s own parental journey was so fulfilling, she was willing to do anything to make sure her son and son-in-law would be able to reap the same rewards of parenting…
An Unusual Offer
Cecile ended up telling Matthew, “If you want me to be the gestational carrier,” she told Matthew, “I’d do it in a heartbeat.” They appreciated the gesture, obviously, but they figured that would be impossible.
She Couldn’t Be Serious
Matthew’s mother was sixty-one years old and postmenopausal. Matthew and Elliot didn’t want to put their mother in jeopardy, nor did they think her generous offer was serious to begin with. They went to consult the doctors about their options…
No Laughing Matter
When Elliot and Matthew met with reproductive endocrinologists to discuss their surrogacy options, Matthew jokingly brought up his mother’s idea. However, Dr. Carolyn Maud Doherty didn’t see what there was to laugh about.
Could She Do It?
Dr. Doherty wanted to see whether Cecile would be a viable candidate for acting as the couple’s surrogate. Matthew and Elliot were surprised, but with their doctor and mother on board, they decided to proceed with caution…
Taking Care of Herself
Cecile’s children always made fun of her for being a health nut. She was committed to a healthy lifestyle—a balanced diet and regular exercise. Apparently, her choices paid off…
Tip Top Shape
The Reproductive Health Specialists team at Methodist Women’s Hospital in Omaha, Nebraska administered a Pap smear, a blood test, a cholesterol test, a mammogram, a stress test, and an ultrasound, all of which proved Cecile was at the top of her game! The doctors decided Cecile was healthy enough to carry her son’s baby…but where would they get the eggs?
Another Kind Gesture
Before Elliot and Matthew even mentioned the idea to their mother, Elliot approached his sister, Lea, about the possibility of donating her eggs. Lea had already told them she would do whatever she could…
Walking On Air
“When they did get serious about it, it wasn’t a question—though of course, I had to talk to my husband, and he was very open to the idea,” she said. But the pair were over the moon for more reason than one…
It’s Looking Good
Lea was only twenty-five years old. Age is an enormous factor in creating a viable embryo—plus Lea had already had one child and was expecting another, which was a sign of fertility.
Starting the Process
Matthew’s sperm was quarantined and frozen for six months to check for diseases, and Lea began taking shots to stimulate her ovaries for egg donation…
A Difficult Task
“It was harder than I thought it was going to be,” Lea said. She struggled to administer the shots at the same time every day while looking after her family…
Worth the Money
Eventually, Lea yielded two dozen eggs. 11 of those eggs were injected with Matthew’s sperm. Five days later, the embryos had developed, and seven embryos were implanted in Matthew’s mother, Cecile. But the whole process cost a pretty penny…
Financially Responsible
Matthew and Elliot knew what they were getting into. They had been saving for a child for years. Because Cecile was doing something “so innovative and new” as an older gestational carrier, Elliot and Matthew were prepared for anything to happen. Any complication could quickly turn into a huge financial situation…
Only Three Left
The couple chose to pay extra so they could receive preimplantation genetic testing to help find out which embryos had the highest chance of developing into a healthy baby. Afterward, Matthew and Elliot were left with only 3 viable embryos…
Back to the Future
Having secured the eggs and with Matthew’s sperm cleared, Cecile was put on estrogen, meaning she had once again become premenopausal for the first time in a decade! She said it was definitely strange, but she kept remembering it was only temporary. Then, Cecile got ready for her first embryo transfer.
How Many Embryos?
Sometimes, people implant more than one embryo at once in hopes that one will stick—but that can lead to multiple pregnancies. To eliminate the risk of Cecile delivering more than one child, Dr. Doherty recommended they try just implanting one embryo…but there were more complications to come.
The Risks Were High
Dr. Doherty noted that there were many risks associated with being an older surrogate, including pulmonary issues, blood clots, and the likelihood of needing a C-section. Matthew and Elliot were nervous about Cecile’s health—not to mention the cost of another egg retrieval if this one were to fail. They had already paid $12,000 for the first cycle…
They Planned Ahead
Matthew was a schoolteacher and Elliot worked as a hairdresser. IVF had already cost them in total $40,000. Luckily, the couple had been saving for years in hopes of having a child of their own. And soon, their dream might finally come true. But first, the transfer had to go as planned…
On Pins and Needles
After the transfer, Matthew said he was “a wreck.” They were supposed to wait another two weeks to see if the cycle was successful, but Matthew said, “Of course I wasn’t gonna do that.” He had other plans…
High Stakes
Matthew went to the pharmacy, bought the most expensive over-the-counter pregnancy test available, and drove straight to his mother’s house. He knew the stakes were unimaginably high. They only had three viable embryos and he didn’t want Cecile to feel like it was her fault if somehow things didn’t go well…
He Needed to Know
“If the first one didn’t take, I didn’t want them to waste the others on me, due to my age,” Cecile said. On the fifth day after the transfer, Matthew arrived at his mother’s house at 4 A.M. in a panicked frenzy, tears in his eyes.
Bad News
Cecile took the test from him and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she came out looking defeated. Matthew was ready to break down. She handed him the test strip, and he only saw one line…
Wait For It…
They were both devastated. Matthew kept staring at the test, willing a second line to appear. Then, suddenly, he noticed another faint line, barely visible.
Do You See That?
“I think it’s there,” he said to his mom. “I think there’s a line.” According to Matthew, Cecile pushed him out of the way to look for himself. The line was there, but barely. She wanted to take another test to be sure.
The Waiting Game
The second test yielded the best possible results: there were two parallel pink lines. Cecile and Matthew were over the moon. Now, despite the joy of the moment, it was time to play the waiting game. Cecile’s age could make her pregnancy far more difficult than anticipated…
Dealing With the Pregnancy
Cecile began to experience all the same symptoms as she had during her first three pregnancies, but worse. Her morning sickness lasted longer, she had shortness of breath. However, she continued to take walks, work out, and remain physically active. She said it was almost easier “because I’m older, my diet’s easier to control, and I didn’t have the responsibility of other children.” When Cecile began showing, things got a little awkward…
Prying Eyes
Cecile started to show around seven months. Soon, people began to ask all sorts of invasive questions about the nature of the pregnancy. Some were offensive, some purely inquisitive, but she never expected to be the center of attention…
Keeping It Together
Cecile’s pregnancy was induced toward the end of March. Everyone gathered at the hospital awaiting the arrival of Uma. That’s when they got the news that Cecile’s blood pressure had spiked.
Natural Birth
Hours passed, and the doctors managed to get Cecile’s blood pressure back under control. Matthew and Elliot were buzzing with nerves. Then, twelve hours later, Cecile delivered the baby without a C-section…
Happy Dads
After Uma’s umbilical cord was cut, Elliot laid down with his shirt off and held her against his chest so she could benefit from skin-to-skin contact. Matthew watched it all happen, in awe of the miracle that was now wrapped in blankets before them.
Not the End of Their Hardships
Uma and Cecile were both healthy, which is all the pair could have ever asked for. However, that wasn’t the end of the road for Matthew and Elliot. There were many more hurdles to overcome as a gay couple living in the midwest, one of which being Uma’s birth certificate.
The Birth Certificate
Legally, Matthew and his mother are Uma’s parents. “It’s kind of embarrassing,” he said. Nebraska requires the sperm donor to be the father and the person who delivers the baby to be the ‘mother,’ even if they’re a surrogate.
“This looks really creepy for us,” Matthew added. “Let’s just say we will NOT be framing and hanging up Uma’s birth certificate.”
Legal Struggles
Matthew thought Elliot would at least be able to add his name to the birth certificate—even just symbolically—but they were denied. Elliot now needs to go through the process of adopting his own daughter to earn any legal rights. This means that if something were to happen to Matthew, Elliot would have no legal custody over their daughter.
Not the First Time, Nor the Last
This wasn’t the first time Matthew and Elliot made headlines. Matthew had been fired from his position as an English teacher and speech coach at a private Catholic school in Omaha after informing the school that he would be marrying Elliot. A petition against the school’s actions gained over 100,000 signatures. Now, he teaches at a different public school. Matthew and Elliot knew that they would continue to face uphill battles…
One Big Family
Even though the couple overcame scrutiny from others about Cecile’s pregnancy and discrimination from the state, they still have two embryos left from the egg retrieval cycle should they choose to have another child. They are grateful to Lea and Cecile for making Uma’s birth possible. Now, Cecile is a happy grandmother, Lea is an aunt, and finally, Matthew and Elliot are fathers.